Ron came to me conflicted about his marriage of 42-years. With three grown children, he had spent the majority of his life tip-toeing around his wife’s emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. He had provided a very comfortable lifestyle for her, and raised the children to all be successful and happy in families of their own. As he was looking into his twilight years and upcoming retirement, he was questioning how he could find ways to be happy with her for the duration.
In a very intense first session, I helped Ron through a very difficult question “do I stay or do I go?” I helped him figure out the life lessons and blessing he had received from his marriage, and how he could change his perspective and his behavior to find ways to be happy in his marriage through retirement and beyond. In addition, I laid out for him the potential life lessons and changes in perspective he would experience if he chose to leave. Ron told me as he left that session that day that he felt hope for the first time in years. He said that the notes from that session sent him away with a choice to make, and not one that he could make using a typical pro-con list. But rather, the notes helped him to understand that either choice he made could be the “right” choice, and it was just a matter of which blessings and life lessons he wanted.
A few months later he called me back and informed me he had made the decision to leave. Over the next year, I worked with him to make the perspective shifts and life changes as he went through the process of divorce. His first and foremost goal was to complete the process with complete integrity and as much peace as possible. When the divorce was final, he called me to inform me that I helped guide him to one of the greatest lessons and blessings of his life. He had adopted the mantra and affirmation for himself and his life “it doesn’t matter” as a means of letting go of all the things that were out of his control. Through this, he is now able to really look at his life for what is the most important and to be grateful for everything he does have and to let go of what really ultimately doesn’t matter.
Ron has since found a happy new relationship, maintained exceptional relationships with his children and grand-children, and built a more adventurous and free life for himself.
Are you contemplating a break-up or divorce yourself? Tried of pro-con lists and stuck in your decision making? Schedule an initial consult with TeriLeigh to discuss your stay-or-go life lessons and blessings. TL will help you see you have already made the right decision for yourself, help you activate it, and hold your hand through the transformational growth process of splitting up.
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